Thoughts on Pre-Marital Sex

You know, I never really knew what I was getting into when I began Anatomy and Physiology. As a senior in high school, I have lost any preference for the classes I take, yet this particular course has proven interesting. While the topics have varied, the most recent topic is also the most awkward: sex.

There’s no other way around this topic, nor is there a better way to phrase it. It’s bound to come up in such a class, and sure enough, it did. Thankfully, my teacher is a Christian, and she combined both the science of sex with the Christianity we both believe.

While the discussion was elaborate, I believe the most important piece said was on the topic of pre-marital sex. In today’s culture, very few of us have a legitimate idea about the importance of wedding night sex. In fact, when polled, the number of Christians who claimed that casual sex between consenting adults is sometimes or always acceptable was well over fifty percent (Diamant 2020).

This is an incredible number. According to Jeff Diamante, 62% of Catholics and 56% of Protestants agree with the prior statement. Not only is this statistic alarming, it is deeply disturbing. For an unexplainable reason, today’s Christians continue to compromise their faith, syncretizing their so-called beliefs with the bells and trinkets of the world.

But couldn’t there be a good situation for casual, pre-marital sex to occur? Not at all! Biblically, we are specifically called to keep the marriage bed pure, reserving sexual interaction for marriage and marriage only. From the beginning, God’s clear-cut plan for marriage is simple: one man to one woman, going to each other on the marriage bed.

Genesis 2:24-25 says, ““Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.””

There is no difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament. The latter echoes the teachings of the former, stating in 1 Corinthians 7:2 that “because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” Could you ask for a clearer verse? This is not masked nor hidden. One man to one woman.

Homosexuality and adulteresses are prohibited in the Old and New Testaments. In the Old Testament, the judgement for homosexuality was immediate removal from God’s people (banishment, see Leviticus 18). Adultery isn’t merely limited to the law, like homosexuality, but is also included in the Ten Commandments, causing some to argue that the sin of adultery is greater than the sin of homosexuality. I make no such statement but leave you to judge for yourselves. Both are condemned as sin and shall be treated as such.

Satan seeks to twist everything God created. As he actively works in the world, he seeks to corrupt the Godly and their beliefs. Men that once held fast to their faith instead exchange the truth of God for a lie (Romans 1:25), exchanging the Creator (God and His truth) for the created (the world and its offerings). Anything from the world will be contrary to God’s word, and thus we can recognize it as from Satan. The pure marriage bed, once a norm, has been defiled, an action that has since become commonplace. Normal sexual interactions (again, within the marriage bed), are exchanged for same-sex interactions.

In fact, this goes further than sexual sin. Righteousness becomes unrighteousness, truth becomes lie, manhood becomes womanhood (men are becoming more passive), womanhood becomes manhood (women are becoming more aggressive), and much, much more.

This is the world, ladies and gentlemen. It seeks to corrupt everything we know, starting with our hearts and minds. It offers compromise, small at first, but growing larger by the day, and tempts us with its charms. If we do not hold fast to the truths of God and take them as they are written, we will fall together as the Church crashes around our ears.

Marriage is about oneness and offering one’s self to the other. In this mutual servanthood, born out of love, true intimacy is reached, an intimacy that cannot be found anywhere else. When this is torn apart, baggage is created, the same baggage that will be brought into the marriage bed should it be broken beforehand. For true, lasting intimacy, there must be no spiritual or physical baggage brought to your spouse. Yet there is hope for those who have already failed! Christ purifies you, just as He purifies the Church. He cleanses His bride, the harlot Church (or Israel) and makes her a beautiful thing.

Holding fast to the truths of God starts here, with the simple things that we are told to take for granted. The world tells us, “oh, that’s normal, accept it as such.” WAKE UP! Surprise: it’s not. Every Christian is called to hold the marriage bed in honor and purity, for it represents something far greater: the Marriage of the Church and of Christ.

This goes all the way back to the Garden and God’s plan for family and the church. Just as the family reflects the Church (man as the spiritual and literal head of the home), the Church reflects the greater Marriage. In both cases, we are called to keep to this representation and hold these items as pure. As time passes, these boundaries are crossed again and again, the most common examples being pre-marital sex and church divides. We cannot allow these compromises to take hold within the Church, especially if we are to withstand the subtle temptations of the World.

The previous statements have been confirmed again and again by saved friends of mine who, prior or occasionally after their salvation, acted precisely as I just described or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, actually managed to reach their wedding nights with their virginity intact, or without. If I could give you a single lesson, one given to me with excessive emphasis, it is this: the wait is worth it. Don’t give in to the world.

Many will be offended by what I have just said. This is not the goal. My only prayer is that, even through your offense, my words will call you to further conversation and thought on these matters. Please remember: as Christians, our opinions are to be built around God’s Word, not the pressure of the world. If you’d like to engage in healthy, open dialogue, feel free to comment with any questions or thoughts of your own.

Until then, may the Lord bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you, and give you peace.